Danns.co.ukRealisation
I realised something about myself today: I really hate being told what to do. I tend to have very strong opinions concerning the way things should be, which I think stems from being an ardent pedant, and I will fight tooth and nail to have things my way. This obviously puts me at odds with my superiors.
I just find it so hard to let something go. In my current situation, I had an idea to improve a planned design. I suggested it, only to get pushed aside and shot down. At least, that's how it felt. In reality, I realise there's a good reason why my idea is impractical given the current circumstances. However, as an idealist I maintain that my idea is optimal. What I find most difficult is that there was no recognition of that. Noone said "yes, that's the ideal solution, but unfortunately we can't do that right now because of this." I guess that's my pride getting in the way, but it's not just that; there's another element too. I'm going to have to implement this design, or at least a large part of it. Being the aforementioned pedant that I am, it's extremely psychologically draining to implement a design that I dislike and fought against. I get frustrated, upset, even angry sometimes. It feels like I'm wasting my time, and it's hard not to feel some resentment toward my superiors who, after all, are requiring that I do this.
However, at least I'm aware of this now and can do my best to anticipate and throttle back my reactions to similar situations in the future. As a Christian, it's also important for me to not underestimate the power of prayer. Paul says in his letter to the Galatians: "The fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control". It's hard to imagine attaining that, but as we're told in Phillipians: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me."
However, since I'm still very much imperfect, it helps to imagine a time a few years down the line when I'll be free to do things the way I want. In the meantime, surely it won't kill me to do things a stupid way if that's what they want me to do, will it? Just a little longer...
Comments
Hehe, that's exactly how I
Hehe, that's exactly how I find it at times where I work. And my response is exactly the same: "oh well, hopefully not too long left". (That's one reason I want to be free to do my own work in academia in future, actually).
Business is full of big egos -- which is how these people succeed in business -- and even though some people are quite clearly wrong in their methods or ideas, it's against their own self-interest to acknowlege that you are somehow "cleverer" than their years of experience.
That said, sometimes the benefit of years of experience is valid as well, and I have certainly learnt a few things about the way things are done, and my own fallibility even when I believe I am right about something.
Oh, to live in a world where everything goes your own way! ;-)
I have also observed that it
I have also observed that it seems that being successful in business requires high self-worth, cheesy buzz-words, and an expectation that employees with no shares in the company should still be willing to put their whole life into it.
It's frustrating when people are clearly wrong, but in this situation I agree with their decision given the practical restrictions that are in place. The frustrating thing is that I think like a programmer, and find beauty in elegant and simple design, whereas large companies don't like elegant designs; they like the designs that require the least effort. As this design involves a large company...
I'll be pleased when I'm done with this project.
I certainly agree with your
I certainly agree with your observations there. Just this morning I was subjected to a 2-hour "All Employee Briefing", with a tirade of such buzz-phrases emanating from person after suit-clad person: "going forward, to the future, we intend to better integrate our passion for business with the value-added services for our shareholders".
I certainly share your bewilderment that workers, with or without shares, are expected to give up their lives and souls 'for the good of the Company'. The board can bring in millions of pounds worth of orders, but can't afford to increase wages as it would 'put a dent in the profits' and 'decrease shareholder value'. Depressingly, at the moment in Bristol I have very little outside of work to look forward to, so I find myself giving ever more time and effort to the business anyway, despite my nil personal return from the extra effort.
Seems like the only way to get anything out of working in business is to be a shareholder first, and a worker second. At least in the academic world, your research and your publications have your name on them, so everything you produce ends up being directly for your benefit and improvement (or for your shame!), and you necessarily take that little bit more pride in your work.
That's my thoughts on the matter anyway... I think it's fair to say I'm more the idealist socialist academic than the corporate industrialist, so I'm admittedly a little biased :-)
And then there's the use of
And then there's the use of the word "asset" referring to an employee, "technology incubator" referring to a software company that does a bit of R&D, and "disruptive innovator" (an actual job title).
Academia is a good direction. I always hated writing essays though, so I'm concerned that I'd struggle with the volume of writing required. I've certainly considered it, and will probably continue to consider it. My true interests however lie in the open source arena, especially in the huge gap where a user-friendly operating system should be.